Hard To Be Humble
by Scorpia710
Summary: Snape finds Ron and Lockhart in the Chamber of Secrets waiting for Harry's return. Lockhart sings and Snape breaks. From Ron's POV, please review!


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Potter and his friends, enemies or anything else in the Wizarding World that walks on two feet and has the capacity to communicate. I know, it surprised me as well

………………………………_... _

He had been waiting for what seemed like hours. The darkness of the tunnel combined with the fear he already felt was horrible. The redhead felt worse than when Fred and George had turned his teddy bear into a tarantula, and he'd thought he was going to die of fright that time.

Grimy water was dripping down the walls, and every once in a while he was distracted from his task by weird sounds. Little pebbles would drop into the small puddles of water that lay around the floor, and the sharp sound made him jumpy.

Ron kept digging. He had to make a hole in the pile of rock.

His best friend and his little sister would be coming back, and they would need a way to get to him. At least, Ron hoped they would be coming back.

He was already worried, but the worry was becoming worse with every minute he spent alone.

"Snoooorrkk." Ron turned and glared at Lockhart. No, he wasn't _totally _alone, but it was bad enough. The man should not even be here, useless git that he was.

_If the Basilisk comes after me maybe it will stay long enough to eat Lockhart and I can get out_, Ron thought.

Another snore interrupted the silence. Ron was tempted to hit the man with a stone. There were enough stones to choose from, maybe that big one there….

Deciding that the man was not worth his time, Ron turned back to his tedious task. Grunting, Ron hoisted a huge rock to the side. It took all his strength just to move one, how the hell was he going to move enough in time?

He had to keep going, though. His sister was stuck with a monster. Two monster actually, from what he and Harry had learned. Whoever had opened the chamber was probably down there as well.

The thought that his best friend was facing off a Basilisk made Ron shudder. Harry had survived many things before, that other people could not even bare to think about.

Ron felt proud of Harry, and of himself for helping his friend. Together they had found themselves in dangerous positions, and it had been scary, but Ron would always remember them. Fighting side by side with his friends was a memory that one did not forget easily.

Ron felt weak at the thought and continued to move the rocks, this could be their last adventure, Harry and Ginny could already be dead--the monster could be heading towards him already.

No, Ron told himself firmly and fought back a shudder.

Everything would be fine. Maybe they would even be awarded points! And then they would have a better chance at winning the house cup.

_If Ginny lives, _a nasty little voice whispered to him. It planted doubt in his mind and made his heart clench painfully. Ginny had to live, she just _had _to.

Something loud sounded behind him. Ron spun around. It was louder than any of the other sounds he had already gotten used to.

Goosebumps rose on his skin. The damp, cold air chilled him.

Out of the shadows, a dark figure appeared…Snape? Ron gasped. His horrible professor was sneering at him. His head was slightly bowed, his greasy hair falling in his face.

"S-Snape!" Ron stuttered falling on his rear as he tried to escape. _Get your wand! _Ron yelled at himself mentally. Snape _was _the heir of Slytherin!

His wand was broken but he dug for it and Lockhart's. "That is Professor Snape to you, Weasley," Snape said. The professor brought out his own wand and with a flourish. Both wands in Ron's hand went flying to the man.

Catching them easily, Snape stared at Ron, then glanced at Lockhart.

Ron paled. He had no wand and was defenseless in the Chamber of Secrets with Snape standing in front of him. He was doomed.

Lockhart was still snoring. Snape looked ready to roll his eyes. "Where's Potter, Weasley?"

"Um," Ron mumbled caught between being scared and wanting to scream at the man to give his wand back. Should he lie? Snape was frowning at him, looking ready to kill someone. Deciding that this was probably not the time to fib, Ron told the truth.

"He's on the other side of the barrier, sir." Ron pointed at the hill of rocks that he had been working on.

Snape mumbled something that Ron was probably not supposed to hear. "Well, Weasley, help me move them," Snape said in an exasperated.

_I'm going to get Harry out with _Snape_, of all people! _Ron thought in amazement.

So Snape was not the bad guy this time? _Or will he make me clear an area so he can get in, and then kill me? _Ron thought worriedly.

"Hurry up, Weasley," Snape snapped, reaching for his wand, which he had stuffed back in his pocket. Hopefully to help move the rocks.

Ron's attention was turned to the area behind Snape because of some movement. "Professor!" he said in horror, but Snape had realized the same thing.

His wand was gone, along with Ron's and Lockhart's. And who had them? None other than Professor Lockhart himself.

"Oh no," Ron muttered. He was dead. They were _all _dead.

Lockhart was twirling Ron's broken wand in one hand, while he placed the other wand in the inside of his robe pocket. Ron looked wide-eyed at his professor. How had the man not realize Lockhart was snitching their wands?

Snape was supposed to be the adult in the situation, the one who made everything better, not worse.

"Lockhart, give me my wand," Snape said in a dangerous voice. The man looked a bit flushed, most likely with embarrassment. His wand had been lifted by Lockhart--of all the bloody people in the world it had to be Lockhart!

Ron knew his professor would never live it down…especially _if _he had anything to say about it. This was definitely a chance for some serious blackmail. Fred and George would be so proud of him.

Lockhart turned to Snape, his eyes sparkling with delight. "You know my name as well! I guess everyone does," he said thoughtfully.

Snape muttered something unflattering.

"Could someone tell me where I am at? The décor does nothing for me," Lockhart said with a sigh. He proudly brushed dirt off of his bright, gaudy robes. His hair was mussed and his robes were torn and grimy, but yet, there was still a certain superior glint in his eye.

Snape raised an eyebrow and glanced at Ron suspiciously. "We'll talk about this later, Weasley."

Ron swallowed and grimaced. _How could this day get any worse? _He wondered. "What do you mean--?"

"Lockhart may be an idiot, but he was never _this _bad. It has your malfunctioning wand written all over it," Snape said. His look dared Ron to deny it. The redhead did not think it was a good time to fight about it.

Especially since Snape was right. Ron looked away. Smirking, Snape turned back to Lockhart.

"Lockhart--" Snape was cut off as the blond man spun around excitedly.

"I know why you're here now!"

Snape frowned and crossed his arms, "Oh really," he sneered. "Do enlighten me."

Lockhart smiled brightly. "You are here, sir, to hear me sing!"

There was an amused quiet before Snape spoke. "Far from it, Lockhart. Now, hand me my wand before I am _forced_ to hurt you." It was a demand that anyone with a speck of intelligence would have obeyed.

Sadly, Lockhart was still suffering memory loss, and it seemed his brain had been knocked out of his ear.

Ron watched in shock, as this took place. Should he run? Lockhart with a wand was not something you wanted to be around, and yet, Snape did not look worried.

"Lockhart, come now. Give me my wand and we'll get you a lolly," Snape tried smoothly.

Ron gaped. He was dreaming, that was all there was to it. This whole thing was just a weird, _weird _dream. Ron could not wait to wake up and tell Harry about it. He would hug Ginny while he was at it.

Lockhart was ignoring Snape's attempts at tricking him for fixing his hair. Flicking his wand, it was back to its usual state of perfection.

Ron's wand was in Lockhart's other hand, it could easily be pointed at them. To fire a spell with that wand could be more then dangerous. Ron had already learned that.

The red head wished Snape would do _something. _They still had to clear an area so Harry and Ginny could come back through.

Snape stepped forward but Lockhart waved Ron's wand. "No autographs until intermission," Lockhart said with a serious expression. "Get back before I use a stinging hex on you…I had to use one on the Queen of Lalaland once."

Ron snickered and Snape shot a glare at him. The really sad thing was that Lockhart seemed serious.

The beaming man cleared his throat. Casting a magnifying spell on his wand, he brought it to his mouth. Snape rubbed the straight of his nose, blowing air past his lips as he did so. "Get a hold on yourself, man," he hissed.

Lockhart beamed at him before opening his mouth.

"Merlin, it's hard to be humble when you're perfect in every way," Lockhart sang. His slightly off-key voice reverberated off of the walls. "I can't wait to look in the mirror 'cause I get better lookin' each day!"

Ron was staring. He pinched himself, hard and his hand stung in response.

"To know me is to love me, I must be a hell of a man. Oh Merlin it's hard to be humble, but I'm doin' the best that I can," Lockhart sang. Snape was staring at the man.

"He's more crazy then I first thought," Ron heard him grumble. Ron had to agree with his professor.

"I used to have a girlfriend but I guess she just couldn't compete. With all these love starved women who keep clamoring at my feet. Well I probably could find me another but I guess they're all in awe of me. Who cares I never get lonesome 'cause I treasure my own company!" Lockhart's voice rang out. The terrible American accent bounced off the walls.

_He's going to make the entire ceiling cave in_, Ron thought pathetically as Lockhart took a deep breath.

"I guess you could say I am a loner, a cowboy all locked up and proud. Well I could have lots of friends if I wanted, but then I wouldn't stand out in a crowd," Lockhart sang turning to look at them both and beam.

"Stop. It. Now," Snape said through gritted teeth.

Lockhart waggled his fingers at Snape. The Potions professor's eyes seemed to almost pop out of his head. Ron was stuck between laughing and crying.

"Some folks say that I'm egotistical - hell I don't even know what that means I guess it has something to do with the way that I fill out my skin tight blue jeans!" With a wave of his wand, Lockhart's robes were transfigured into blue jeans.

"Bloody hell," moaned Ron as he decided crying was a better idea than laughing. Snape had had enough, too. As Lockhart opened his mouth, Snape came stomping over to him.

"Oooohhhhh Merlin it's hard to be--!" Lockhart was stopped as Snape's fist met his chin.

Lockhart's eyes rolled back into his head and he fell like a rock. Snape glared down on the fallen man.

"Finally!" he said throwing his arms into the air in a very un-Snape like way.

Ron stared at Snape. "Thanks for that," he said putting his hands over his ears and rubbing them. They were still ringing.

"My pleasure," Snape said. He began kicking Lockhart over and grabbed his, Lockhart's, and Ron's wands.

To Ron's surprise, Snape held out Lockhart's wand to him. "His will have to work until your wand is fixed," he said.

Ron took it looking at Snape suspiciously. "Thank you," he said slowly. Snape raised an eyebrow but turned to the barrier without comment.

Together they moved the rocks. It went faster since professor Snape knew more spells than Ron. The one spell he was using was one Ron had never heard of.

It moved more then one rock at a time which helped dramatically. The rocks were carefully placed to the side and soon they had a hole big enough for Harry and Ginny to get through.

They worked hard, Ron's hope coming and then leaving again throughout the process.

Ron sighed and leaned against the rock wall for a moment. "Do you think they'll be alright?"

He did not know why he was asking Snape this. Why should the man care? He hated Harry and he was certainly not a fan of any of the Weasleys. Why was he even here in the first place? Ron needed someone to assure him though, and Snape was the only one around to give it.

"I'm sure Potter and your sister will come out alive and well," Snape said stiffly. He was still glairing at the rock wall of stones but, Ron was sure he saw his face soften for a fraction of a second.

_Probably a trick of the light, _Ron though to himself.

Then, the sound of light footsteps made them both straighten up. Ron made it over to the small hole in the wall of stone first.

Looking through it he saw a very dirt Harry and Ginny. Harry saw him at the same time. "Ron!" Harry yelled quickening his steps. "Ginny's okay! I've got her!"

Happiness and relief flooded him. The only thing Ron managed was a cheer strangled by joy. His sister got closer and run thrusts his arms through the hole to help her.

"You're alive!" he gasped hugging her to him. Her soft red hair tickled his nose as he buried his head in it breathing deeply. "I don't believe it," he whispered the asked, "What happened?"

A bright red bird swooped past him, scaring Ron momentarily.

"He's Dumbledore's," Harry said, squeezing through the hole.

Ron spotted a glittering, blood-stained sword in Harry's hand. "How come you got a _sword_?" Ron gaped at it in amazment.

"I'll explain lat--" Harry started to say but then he spotted Snape. "Um…hello Professor," Harry said, blinking frantically.

Snape rolled his eyes and turned to Ron. "I told you so," he said with a resigned shaking of his head.

Harry was looking helplessly confused. Ron smiled. "I'll explain later, mate."

"I trust you killed the beast of Slytherin?" Snape said sarcastically.

"Yes, the Basilisk is dead," Harry said with a final nod.

Snape frowned. "I may get you to open the entrance again Potter. Basilisk skin is very rare," Snape muttered almost to himself.

Ron snickered while Harry just looked on in awe_. Maybe Snape is not so bad after all, _Ron thought. "Why are you here professor?" Harry asked as he followed Snape to the exit.

Snape sneered, "Professor Dumbledore has two teachers every night on night patrol. I happened to be walking past the girls bathroom, and I heard--_giggling--" _Snape spat it out like a curse word.

"It seems Miss Myrtle was very excited about your likely demise Potter," Snape said.

Harry's face turned sour.

Together, with Snape holding Lockhart by the neck of his robes, they were carried by Fawkes out of the chamber.

**Authors Note: **Wrote this a while back actually, thought I'd post it as it was just sitting there dejectedly (I don't like it too much). Please tell me what you think, criticism is welcomed.


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